This is the singularly most hilarious thing that I've read in a long time. To summarize would spoil it, but basically some asshat customer gets a bit of smack down eventually.
OMGROFL!!! I guess there are some really good reasons why folks are afraid of pregnant women - especially when we're hungry!! ;p
Were I not pregnant, I would probably have reacted the same way as everyone else. Being pregnant seems to have brought out a fierceness that the Peon obviously recognized - she would not have hesitated to kick his behind all the way to next year, and make him explain how she did so... ;p
I was checking out the sale jewelry table at Lord & Taylor with this petite woman and her lumbering tank of a husband approached the nearby perfume counter. The ultimate story was that the woman did not purchase her perfume in time to take advantage of the free gift with purchase.
However, instead of explaining this, the man felt the need to howl and bellow and try to indimidate the poor salesgirl into giving his wife the free gift. Which they no longer had. Promotion was over. I eased my way over to them and waiting patiently while the rattled salesgirl went to get her manager.
"Feel better?" I asked the guy.
Completely baffled, he looked at me, all "Huh?"
"I mean you're, what? 350? And that salesgirl was probably all of 110 pounds soaking wet. But boy, you sure showed her, coming in here all full of fire and brimstone and bullying to get what you want. I bet you do that a lot, don't you? Bully people to get what you want?"
His tiny wife watched me with round eyes, but when I said that last bit, she nearly nodded. I figured. Probably one of the reasons he married her, so he could intimidate her.
"What the fuck do you care? Mind your own business!"
"Oh, but the moment you started screaming and yelling, interrupting my shopping experience, you because my business." And I continued to stand there and gaze at him.
"What are you looking at, bitch?"
"I'm looking at a 45-year-old land whale throw a temper tantrum like a toddler who had his favorite teddy bear taken away."
"Fuck you!"
"Shh. There are small children in this store. I really don't think they need to be exposed to such profanity, even if you can't help it."
About that time, the manager arrived and the guy was so caught off guard that the rest of the transaction was conducted in calm, civil tones. I just stood there and watched, keeping him mindful that I was there and would call him on his behavior. He kept glancing at me. By the time they left the counter, the wife was smiling and he was scowling at the floor, silently shuffling toward the door.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-24 02:22 pm (UTC)Were I not pregnant, I would probably have reacted the same way as everyone else. Being pregnant seems to have brought out a fierceness that the Peon obviously recognized - she would not have hesitated to kick his behind all the way to next year, and make him explain how she did so... ;p
:is very proud:
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-24 09:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-24 09:37 pm (UTC)I was checking out the sale jewelry table at Lord & Taylor with this petite woman and her lumbering tank of a husband approached the nearby perfume counter. The ultimate story was that the woman did not purchase her perfume in time to take advantage of the free gift with purchase.
However, instead of explaining this, the man felt the need to howl and bellow and try to indimidate the poor salesgirl into giving his wife the free gift. Which they no longer had. Promotion was over. I eased my way over to them and waiting patiently while the rattled salesgirl went to get her manager.
"Feel better?" I asked the guy.
Completely baffled, he looked at me, all "Huh?"
"I mean you're, what? 350? And that salesgirl was probably all of 110 pounds soaking wet. But boy, you sure showed her, coming in here all full of fire and brimstone and bullying to get what you want. I bet you do that a lot, don't you? Bully people to get what you want?"
His tiny wife watched me with round eyes, but when I said that last bit, she nearly nodded. I figured. Probably one of the reasons he married her, so he could intimidate her.
"What the fuck do you care? Mind your own business!"
"Oh, but the moment you started screaming and yelling, interrupting my shopping experience, you because my business." And I continued to stand there and gaze at him.
"What are you looking at, bitch?"
"I'm looking at a 45-year-old land whale throw a temper tantrum like a toddler who had his favorite teddy bear taken away."
"Fuck you!"
"Shh. There are small children in this store. I really don't think they need to be exposed to such profanity, even if you can't help it."
About that time, the manager arrived and the guy was so caught off guard that the rest of the transaction was conducted in calm, civil tones. I just stood there and watched, keeping him mindful that I was there and would call him on his behavior. He kept glancing at me. By the time they left the counter, the wife was smiling and he was scowling at the floor, silently shuffling toward the door.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-24 09:41 pm (UTC)