azuremonkey won't even stop stalking me on her birthday!

[jebbypal]

Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from jebbypal!. azuremonkey is stalking jebbypal! azuremonkey’s REAL name : Conklin Dorsett azuremonkey’s REAL DOB : 28th June 1984 Height :178 cm Weight : 98.2 kg azuremonkey has dreamt about you : 6 times azuremonkey became interested in you : 03rd July 2003 azuremonkey’s latest dream about you You are working in an ice cream parlour. azuremonkey approaches the counter and asks for a whipped vanilla cone. You step out from behind the counter brandishing a leather whip in full BDSM gear. This is how azuremonkey describes your relationship behind your back ‘God its going fantastic. I’ve never felt happier……..ever. Nothing can go wrong now. Fuck tempting fate!’ azuremonkey’s been stealing stuff from your house too. azuremonkey has stolen your DVD recorder and will only return it once they receive a tongue kiss from you. They’ve even started modifying their body for you azuremonkey made the bizarre decision to have one of their eyeball’s removed especially for you. They sent the following message to you in a Valentines I think I’ve just creamed myself thinking about you. There’s no tissue paper in the house to clear up the mess so I’ve used this card instead. The Police No. calls to the police : 19 times Your Last Call to The Police "Look, could you send a squad car over? It’s just that there is this person outside my house rumaging through my garbage and they’ve been doing it every night for the past month. They seem to have some weird obsession over me. Please hurry. I think they’ve just found one of my bank statements as they’ve just ran off again." azuremonkey’s Police File azuremonkey can be quite pleasant when it’s not trying to gouge peoples eyes out with a plastic fork. Testimonies about azuremonkey Cannon Brandt - A hardened ex-crook ‘Dear God! I knew azuremonkey was a right thieving bastard but I didn’t know they were such a skank. jebbypal! is a bit of a sucker really.’ Paulina Findley - Spaced out junkie ‘Ahhh none of this is new to me. jebbypal!’s been telling me about azuremonkey’s antics for ages now. I don’t honestly know why it has put up with it for so long.’ Williamson Lay - Wide-load ‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded jebbypal! really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’ Dulce Velde - Eats everything. ‘I use the word cunt sparingly - it’s more effective that way. I’ve spent all morning texting azuremonkey, with that word playing a key role in most of my messages.’

Comments

[azuremonkey.livejournal.com]

You step out from behind the counter brandishing a leather whip in full BDSM gear... -- Mmmm, best dream EVER.

Suffice it to say, if I ever send you a Valentine's Card, you should probably throw it away. :] Now, if you'll excuse me, love, I'm off to find more plastic forks and have dreams about you in BDSM gear... *sigh*