Farscape drabble for poisontaster

[jebbypal]

My ever so good fandom pimpee, poisontaster, requested D'argo/John banter with some Aeryn snark. In an attempt to convince her to continue her Farscape viewing with more rigor, I'm complying. Set sometime Season 1 since I'm still unsure where she is in the series (even though I already know I've spoiled her silly with Twin Regrets).

No warnings, suitable for all ages.


D'argo watched with interest as Crichton bent over the metal sphere. "Exactly what do you suppose he is doing?" he asked Aeryn.

She looked up briefly from the console she was working on to look at Crichton's odd stance in the corridor outside of command. "As if anyone knows what a human's intent is? All I know, if he breaks another yontog doing it, I'll help the DRDs solder him to a wall."

D'argo laughed at the image of John suspended on one of Moya's wall. Of course, it wasn't a bad idea. If the human was out of the way, they might be able to fix something without him breaking it again as he attempted to figure out how it worked. "How did he explain the last two?"

"A pucking accident," Aeryn answered.

From the corridor, a deep sigh could be heard. "Putting! A putting accident. Which I will have again if you two don't shut up," John said.

"Putting," D'argo pronounced. An odd word. "And the purpose of putting is?"

"To get a golf ball into a hole."

D'argo looked at Aeryn and mouthed the word "hole". She just shrugged.

"It's an aspect of a game of finesse and accuracy. A small ball is hit across many metras until the player manages to putt it into a hole a few centis in diameter," John explained.

"Well, that's just stupid. Why don't they just hit it into the hole on the first try?" Aeryn asked.

"Because it's played outside, on a planet, in the elements. One has to account for wind speed, the hardness of the ground, length of the grass," John answered as he finally abandoned his task and joined them in Command. "Also, you don't shoot the ball from a gun, but hit it with a metal stick. Muscle control, coordination, and accounting for outside factors all play against the chance to hit a hole-in-one."

Aeryn shook her head. "Sounds like a sport that is only challenging for humans. Besides, where's the fun in hitting a ball in a hole?"

"Perhaps the loser is then clubbed to death?" D'argo suggested.

"No! No one dies, there aren't any explosions. There's not even any body contact."

"Sounds like a frelling stupid game to me," Aeryn said. "Now, if you're done with the yonton, I need it to unclog the amnexus chambers."

John handed the requested item with an eyeroll. "I suppose for Sebaceans and Luxans, if no one dies or gets frelled, there's no entertainment."

D'argo shook his head and returned to examining the data on Moya's sensors as he answered, "I don't know. There's always raslak."

The end
A/N: Just for FYI, this idea came to me as I watched Beware the Dog. I just wondered what everyone made of John hitting the metal ball with the stick.

Comments

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

*grin* Clearly it's been too long since I watched Farscape on a regular basis. You've written the character voices wonderfully!

... but remind me again what raslak is? :)

[jebbypal]

umm, heavy liquor. Think romulan ale.

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

*facepalm* Thaaaaat's right. :)

[jebbypal]

*passes the farscape dvds over*

Clearly you are right, it has been too long. And if you don't own the boxsets, the new starburst discs are eminently more affordable (and slim) and have new commentaries. *resists the urge to buy any of season 2 and beyond starbursts after the 300 bucks I spent on the boxsets earlier this year*

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

*grin* Fair enough. I'll add that to my list of boxsets which must be obtained. Of course, Lost S1 is also on that list... :)

[jebbypal]

Or you can try to convince PT to lend you the ones she's bought so far (that or I'm confusing her with mona) since she's not putting them to enough use;) LOL

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

Oh, you misunderstand. She already lent me those. I just have to return them and get copies for myself. : )

[kurukami.livejournal.com]

Lost, that is, not Farscape. : )

[poisontaster]

I have the Farscape discs too. All of S1 and Parts 1 & 2 of S2.

[poisontaster]

Damn. Just...damn.

With every new thing you come out with, I am just so impressed, and you just keep getting better. The voices are so dead on. Wow.

From the corridor, a deep sigh could be heard. "Putting! A putting accident. Which I will have again if you two don't shut up,"

I love this line. This feels like the essence of the relationship between the three of them.

How soon is all the science stuff over, so you can get back to fic? *G*

[jebbypal]

Glad you liked it;) I've never done D'argo's (or alien's) POV before, so I wasn't entirely sure.

And hopefully as soon as my thesis committee meeting is over in early november, my brain and muse will start talking on a regular basis again.

[azuremonkey.livejournal.com]

"Perhaps the loser is then clubbed to death?"

Now if this happened during golf tournaments, I actually watch! Oh, and hee-ing to the "pucking accident" line also. Very funny and good.

[jebbypal]

Ahh, yes, this was in part inspired by my inability to explain to anyone why I enjoy watching golf on TV when I find football boring because there are too many pauses in the action;) LOL.

Though, if we could club the commentators, I'd be in for that rule change:)

[azuremonkey.livejournal.com]

I'd be up for that change, too! Really, what's the purpose of commentators, especially in baseball and football? There used to be one, I think.

[mona1347.livejournal.com]

HEE!!!! OMG, their voices are all just so perfect. And I couldn't possibly agree more with D'Argo and Aeryn's assessment of golf. *falls on the floor laughing*

D'argo watched with interest as Crichton bent over the metal sphere.

See there, love? You write slash without even TRYING! First line! Good on you.
*looks totally innocent and runs away. fast.*

[jebbypal]

Okay, that's it. *tosses bunny to you* Now you need to write the slash version for pt:)