Bed of Regret -- Firefly
Aug. 30th, 2006 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jebbypalSome nights, alone in the bed she used to share, Zoe wonders about the mistakes she's made. Used to, the faces of young privates cut down by the Alliance's bullets and their own ignorance featured prominently. Then her world shrunk to protecting the Captain so he could protect the boat and the crew. It was nice. Harder to screw up.
But like every job, sometimes she'd start to yearn for some spontaneity. The new pilot brought that in spades. Also brought headaches. In the end, she had to choose watching the Captain's back because that was what would keep coin in their pockets and fuel in Serenity's engines. Didn't mean she had to like it.
She never thought she'd see the day when she'd look back and wonder if that choice hadn't been a mistake. There were so many times that if she'd chosen to stay with the ship, take a vacation with Wash, or just not need to go haring off after the Captain when he decided to go down with the ship...well, then she wouldn't be lying in bed alone right now.
Mother used to tell her that time heals all wounds. Zoe's still waiting for it to heal the losses from before and during the war. Somehow, she doesn't think she'll live long enough for it to heal this one.
But like every job, sometimes she'd start to yearn for some spontaneity. The new pilot brought that in spades. Also brought headaches. In the end, she had to choose watching the Captain's back because that was what would keep coin in their pockets and fuel in Serenity's engines. Didn't mean she had to like it.
She never thought she'd see the day when she'd look back and wonder if that choice hadn't been a mistake. There were so many times that if she'd chosen to stay with the ship, take a vacation with Wash, or just not need to go haring off after the Captain when he decided to go down with the ship...well, then she wouldn't be lying in bed alone right now.
Mother used to tell her that time heals all wounds. Zoe's still waiting for it to heal the losses from before and during the war. Somehow, she doesn't think she'll live long enough for it to heal this one.