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jebbypalTitle: The Second Hardest Thing
Fandom: Supernatural
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jebbypal
character: John Winchester
rating: E - everyone
Disclaimer - they don't belong to me. They just won't shut up.
Summary: Driving away is almost the hardest thing John's ever done.
word count --- short. I don't have a word processor right now, so can't tell you how long. Less than 500 probably.
A/N: A sequel of sorts to Left Behind. John insisted on telling his side.
Every time I do it, it's almost the hardest thing in the world. The hardest thing has always been to keep going after Mary died. But leaving them, when they were kids or now, it's the second hardest.
Dean-o's never understood it. Still doesn't. If he ever has a son, he will. If, that word hurts so much. The demon, the evil, it has a lot to answer for.
I intend to make it pay, even if it's the last thing I do. Dean won't understand, but Sammy will.
"It's wrong, son," Dad says. "You should at least explain it to him. And then call and write. They just lost their mother. Don't make them lose their father."
My hands fist and hit the tree beside my dad before I can stop them. "Don't you think I know that?" I close my eyes, but like always, I still see Mary on the ceiling. Opening them, I'm tortured by the look of disappointment in my father's eyes. "Look, I hope I won't be gone long. But there's people I need to see, things I need to do, and I can't do that if I don't know that my boys are safe. There's no one else I can ask, Dad."
Dad grits his teeth and looks away toward the house. Through the window, we can both see Mom working at the sink with her head turned, talking to Dean-o no doubt. "Of course we'll look after them, John. They're our blood after all. But I'm warning you," Dad says as he puts his hand on my shoulder, "your mother will never forgive you if you don't go in there and say good-bye to that little boy."
Tearing my gaze away from the house is one of the hardest things I've ever done. "I can't, Dad." My voice cracks like it used to when I was in junior high and complaining to him about the wind sprints Coach made me run. "If I do that, I don't know if I can leave." The look Dad gives me is equal parts disgusted and sad. He doesn't say anything else. Just turns his back and walks back into the house.
I get into my car and pull out of the driveway, wiping away tears when I spot Dean in the rearview mirror.
Fandom: Supernatural
Author:
jebbypalcharacter: John Winchester
rating: E - everyone
Disclaimer - they don't belong to me. They just won't shut up.
Summary: Driving away is almost the hardest thing John's ever done.
word count --- short. I don't have a word processor right now, so can't tell you how long. Less than 500 probably.
A/N: A sequel of sorts to Left Behind. John insisted on telling his side.
Every time I do it, it's almost the hardest thing in the world. The hardest thing has always been to keep going after Mary died. But leaving them, when they were kids or now, it's the second hardest.
Dean-o's never understood it. Still doesn't. If he ever has a son, he will. If, that word hurts so much. The demon, the evil, it has a lot to answer for.
I intend to make it pay, even if it's the last thing I do. Dean won't understand, but Sammy will.
"It's wrong, son," Dad says. "You should at least explain it to him. And then call and write. They just lost their mother. Don't make them lose their father."
My hands fist and hit the tree beside my dad before I can stop them. "Don't you think I know that?" I close my eyes, but like always, I still see Mary on the ceiling. Opening them, I'm tortured by the look of disappointment in my father's eyes. "Look, I hope I won't be gone long. But there's people I need to see, things I need to do, and I can't do that if I don't know that my boys are safe. There's no one else I can ask, Dad."
Dad grits his teeth and looks away toward the house. Through the window, we can both see Mom working at the sink with her head turned, talking to Dean-o no doubt. "Of course we'll look after them, John. They're our blood after all. But I'm warning you," Dad says as he puts his hand on my shoulder, "your mother will never forgive you if you don't go in there and say good-bye to that little boy."
Tearing my gaze away from the house is one of the hardest things I've ever done. "I can't, Dad." My voice cracks like it used to when I was in junior high and complaining to him about the wind sprints Coach made me run. "If I do that, I don't know if I can leave." The look Dad gives me is equal parts disgusted and sad. He doesn't say anything else. Just turns his back and walks back into the house.
I get into my car and pull out of the driveway, wiping away tears when I spot Dean in the rearview mirror.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 03:42 am (UTC)"If I do that, I don't know if I can leave."
I can be mad at him for not telling Dean he'd be back, but totally I get the reason behind it.
Loved it--both ficlets, I mean, as I hadn't read the other one before now. But I'm kinda wanting to see that fight before John told Dean to get their stuff...
Anyhoo, I really enjoyed both, thank you for posting. :)
B
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 11:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-24 04:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-25 04:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-25 06:49 am (UTC)If he ever has a son, he will. If, that word hurts so much.
It really really does. *wibble*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-25 12:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-25 08:58 pm (UTC)*DEAD* OMG, it's my personal canon that "Dean-o" is Dean's baby name like "Sammy" is Sam's. *clings* Wonderful, wonderful John here. John! John, you have the very best intentions and the crappiest follow-through, dude. *snugs these messed up Winchester men to self*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 02:17 am (UTC)