poking the frog

Dear Jayne,

Please stop being mean. Please stop tormenting me with the scene in progress whenever I listen to Perfect Catastrophe in the morning and don't have time to do anything about it. Or conversely, please speak when I listen to said song at night.

Pretty please? I'll even try to get you naked with another character that's not male if you behave? (Of course, I don't promise to make it widely readable because we all know my grasp of the english language fails when the smut enters. But I can channel you).

Really, work with me here. I've got enough divas with the fact that Inara's going to be present and need to say actual lines in this rutting story. I much prefer it when she stays with her customers or her shuttle until I specifically need her. Really.

I know, I'm too uptight like Mal. Still.

Work with me gorramit or there will be an airlock scene without a happy ending.

-no love,
me.

To Whom It May Concern:

This nasty rumor about poisontaster being evil and plotting to take over the world with bunnies is completely false and unsubstantiated.

Any real fact checking would show that her real army is composed of porn!zombies and that she'll only act as directed by her leader and god, mona1347. All who worship the Mona-liciousness can report to me, head cult leader, and I'll tell you how to defend from the bite of the porn!zombies (who may in fact be accompanied by blood sucking bunnies. I try to stay out of the breeding yards myself).

Thank you, that is all. Go about your business until the revolution apocolypse is upon us.