Quick! Before I sober up! Don Doll's American Tour...

[jebbypal]

Don Doll so ordered and therefore I shall comply.

Here we start my drunken comment fic of Don Doll's internship for Barry the Money launderer! I am told icon to follow.........Please play along But check both LJ and DW to see what comment comes next? I dunno how to do this crossposty wise......

Part 1: the job opening

Part 2: the interview

Part 3: Don Doll Speaks

Part 4: Pony vs toaster

Comments

Part 1 .... a job opening...

[jebbypal]

Barry never before considered having an intern. Money laundering is trust business, after all, and his clients trusted him that only 1 person kept the books and therefore there was only 1 person to clean up after if anything went wrong (he tried not to think about the fact that the clean up would culminate in his funeral. His life coach was helping him to accentuate the positive and not worry about the small stuff).

Still, word of mouth got around, and his clients were glad that he steered them clear of Enron and Madoff, especially given the heat that those two generated. And so Barry was busy enough to require a bottle of pepto a week, especially given all of Michael Westen's rush requests. Seriously, some people were generally more trouble than they were worth, but then again, Barry's motto was to always stay on the good side of anyone whose girlfriend was turned on by fire. Especially when they really liked lots of fire that made noises.

And so, Barry found himself with more business than he could comfortably accomodate, especially given the new cleansing demands implemented by his life coach to help him detoxify all the Michael Westen generated stress. And so he started looking for an intern.

And wouldn't you know it, but Fiona knew someone who would be the perfect fit for the job.

Barry thought his next recommendation for his client would be in stocks of pepto bismol.

Re: Part 2 .... the interview....

[jebbypal]

The first positive thing that Barry noticed was that the potential (he refused to use the term new girl yet...there was a chance he might not hire her after all) was that she wasn't Irish. Or at least she didn't have an Irish accent, he wasn't willing to bet that she didn't have past IRA ties in her family trees. She did seem to have a slight insane streak in her look that he didn't quite classify as strictly English anyways.

Still, his life coach, Dwayne, insisted that he accentuate the postive.

"So, Ms. Doll, or may I call you Don?"

"I'd really rather we keep it professional," the cool, blonde replied.

"Oookay, Ms. Doll, if a client were to insist on access to his money, but it wasn't clean yet, what would you do?"

Ms. Doll blinked, but remained silent.

"Okay, good first tactic, but if they were more insistent? And say, mentioned the possibility of physical harm?" Before she got a chance to answer, Barry quickly sucked down the remainder of his mojito.

He had a feeling that this would be long interview...

Re: Part 2 .... the interview....

[lithiumdoll]

"I'd give them a pony," Ms Doll said after a moment of studied consideration. "Some of a pony, anyway," she murmured, more quietly. At Barry's questioning look, she raised her voice, "I said, 'Everyone loves a pony'"

Re: Part 2 .... the interview....

[jebbypal]

"A pony?" Barry repeats. Don Doll simply nods. "Most people who employ money launders would not count a pony as being a good return on investment."

Don Doll shrugged. "But someone they care for might enjoy the pony."

"And I'd still point out that they'd insist on seeing a return on their investment regardless of whether you give them a pony, or if you give them a toaster. It's the principle of the matter." At this point, Barry has had enough to drink that he has to refrain from making a banking joke out of the term "principal". Mike would be so proud.

Don Doll smiles. "I'd love to show them their investment. But if it hasn't matured yet, I've found that no one wants to wake up next to part of a pony twice."

Re: Part 5.... Another drink please!

[jebbypal]

Barry counts it as a win that he manages to not chug his long island iced tea refill. It would be nice if he could manage to drive his BMW convertible home after this interview.

"Well, that would certainly be one approach to customer service.." Personally, he wasn't sure how it would work for say the Juarez cartel, but for some of his white collar clients, it would definitely delay their callbacks.

---

and now i'm off to bed as the alcohol high has worn off...feel free to fill in the rest of the first interview....