jebbypal: (ff bosslady by cassiee)
I've been following the blog-sphere about the new book that's out Mary Him- the case for settling for Mister Right. I'm sure most of you have seen it etc.

Based on the reviews that I've been reading of the topic/book, I have to say, I'm baffled at Gottlieb's conclusions. Then again, this may be more a reflection of the way I feel divorced from what pop culture says I should feel with regard to marriage and kids.

That being said, I have to say that if there was a time that I would have been more likely to "settle", it would have been in my early to mid-20s rather than now or later in my life. Lack of world experience, but also the cultural brain washing of my Mid-West life until I was 21 (which my parents were mostly successful to counterprogramming against) played a role in this. Growing up where everyone is expected to marry their high school sweetheart, and barring that (usually because you weren't lucky or pretty enough to have one), find a husband in college played a large role in this. Every guy I dated from college on, there was that "what-if" fantasy in the back of my head. I guess I should be thankful that none of them had similar ideas or ever thought of proposing because wow, that would have ended oh sooooooooo badly.

It really took meeting a guy (though this could have easily been any gender of friend) who unabashedly refused to settle for anything and encouraged me to do the same to help break that sort of thinking for me. That, and gradually reaching a point in my life where I could control something other than just my romantic decisions. Finding or receiving that type of agency takes time, but I think that if younger men and women could be made to feel like they had that sort of control over there life, early marriage, and other issues, would be less prevalent...then again we all know this because having that sort of control boosts one's self confidence which increases the chance that you'll look to yourself for fulfillment and happiness rather than waiting for someone else to pick you and fulfill all your dreams.

Of course, I guess I'm still a few years behind the target age of Gottlieb's advice, so perhaps there is the chance that more experience will change my mind. But at this point, I doubt it. While I still find rom-com movies entertaining, they are just as likely to piss me off. I still enjoy being single and I don't see that changing any time soon. And the whole kid issue, wow. If my biological clock ever made any noise, it was only due to the stated desire of my now ex-S.O. to actually have kids and my desire to have them in the biological timing of my body prior to when the risks for biological complications for me or the kid. Now that he's a very definite ex, I have a feeling he got the clock in the separation.

But then again, I've always felt out of step with pop-culture on the issue of kids. As a child/teen, I didn't dream or plan a wedding or fantasize about a future wedding dress. I only made up names for potential children when everyone else at the sleepover was doing it. And even when a young child was acting cherubic, in the back of my mind the image of the tantrums and screaming and teenage angst tempered any of the hypnotic qualities of the fresh baby smell.

Time will tell...
jebbypal: (Default)
Blackwater, among others, given 15 billion to take part in global war on terror. Because, you know, it was going so well when the military was involved in it. And the implications of paramilitary organizations operating within our national borders, but not answerable to our laws.

Surprisingly, the Democrats are actually going to introduce a resolution to condemn Rush Limbaugh following his statement that any soldier who supports leaving Iraq is a "phony soldier".

Microsoft XP to remain available through June 2008.

the recent apple update is disabling unlocked iphones

So, first, Verizon banned NARAL's from using it's texting services for contacting NARAL supporters. (Also, NARAL would only be contacting people who wanted to be contacted - this isn't would be like spam texting). Then Verizon rapidly reversed course on the issue. I guess the Board of Directors didn't like the idea that every pro-choice person in the country would rapidly change providers once this hit the news. A little digging reveals that the Verizon policy chief (who originally called NARAL "unsavory") is Tom Tauke, a former anti-choice Congressman from Iowa that NARAL spent 100 grand in 1990 to defeat. He's on the record as saying "When NARAL comes into [Iowa], I'm not going to sit back and take it". You know what's going to be interesting? If Verizon's board of directors "takes" being used for petty revenge with the potential risk to their profits.....Tauke may not be long for his job if this continues to get much press.

A school in upstate NY has banned carrying any sort of backpack or purse. If you're female and carrying one, you are asked if you are menstruating. Because every teenage girl wants to admit to creepy rent-a-cops that she gets her period. The students are protesting and being expelled for wearing feminine hygiene products on their clothing, as necklaces or using tampon boxes as purses. This is so stupid and I can't believe it's happening. Parents should be up in arms. If they aren't, the kids should storm the next school board meeting and demand to be heard (in a peaceful manner).
jebbypal: (Default)
On DailyKos, a married woman tells of the hassles she had in getting Plan B, and the fact that she ended up pregnant after taking it.

I could only read through about ten of the comments before I had to stop. But, I can see the wheels grinding and can imagine how this will be interpreted by the far right:

1) Plan B is too painful to be an OTC medicine
2) It doesn't work.

To which, I must insert some knowledge into the fold. Knowledge which, any woman who has had a decent sex-ed class (a dying breed, I know), knows.

Plan B is effective if taken within 72 hours of the sexual activity, but this 72 hour window comes with limitations.

Ovulation occurs on a cycle. Plan B operates by interupting ovulation via an extra high dose of progesterone. If you've already ovulated, there is evidence that Plan B actually encourages ovulation (which, if you've had enough reproductive bio courses, should make sense to you --- that's the main function of progesterone during pregnancy!).

Okay, now if you look at hormones within the cycle, one can predict when you'll ovulate by knowing the last day of your period. It typically happens at the midpoint of the "normal" 3 week cycle before the next start of menstruation. Notice I said typically. Not everyone has a three week cycle. Also, some people have aberrant ovulation --- point of fact, my mother discovered after having issues getting pregnant that she ovulates near the end of her cycle. I've heard from friends who's mothers found the opposite.

So, if you have sex and you ovulate prior to being able to procure Plan B.....well, you're out of luck. Of course, if you have sex more than three days after you ovulate, you don't need Plan B. Sadly, even for a single woman, that changes from month to month as to the exact day. And for a number of women, we don't know if we've ovulated (some women reporting feeling a sharp back cramp when they do. Some).

So to review: Plan B does not cause abortions. It prevents egg release. No fertilization occurs, ergo no abortion. If Plan B is taken after ovulation, Plan B actually encourages implatation of the new embryo (I'm going to spell that out for the hard to convince anti-science types: IT WILL ENCOURAGE PREGNANCY).

This is why it is imperative that Plan B be easily available. At least, if you have any belief in a woman's control over her own body. If you don't, don't even talk to me.

And no, Plan B is not pleasant. But let me tell you something fellas, neither is birth control for the most part either. But you know what's more unpleasant: unwanted pregnancies. So, unless you anti-feminists are willing to create a way to carry the embryo in a man's body, please, STFU and stop refusing to give us medicine.
jebbypal: (fs shush)
I learned about Brooks' New Lone Ranger column from Pandagon. I went and read the whole thing in interest of seeing how blown out of proportion it was and's not. It's blatant anti-feminism from an old wrinkled fart.

Brooks says of three current pop songs by Avril Lavigne, Pink, and Carrie Underwood:
If you put the songs together, you see they’re about the same sort of character: a character who would have been socially unacceptable in a megahit pop song 10, let alone 30 years ago.

This character is hard-boiled, foul-mouthed, fed up, emotionally self-sufficient and unforgiving. She’s like one of those battle-hardened combat vets, who’s had the sentimentality beaten out of her and who no longer has time for romance or etiquette. She’s disgusted by male idiots and contemptuous of the feminine flirts who cater to them. She’s also, at least in some of the songs, about 16.
When Americans face something that’s psychologically traumatic, they invent an autonomous Lone Ranger fantasy hero who can deal with it. The closing of the frontier brought us the hard-drinking cowboy loner.Urbanization brought us the hard-drinking detective loner.

Now young people face a social frontier of their own. They hit puberty around 13 and many don’t get married until they’re past 30. That’s two decades of coupling, uncoupling, hooking up, relationships and shopping around. This period isn’t a transition anymore. It’s a sprawling lifestage, and nobody knows the rules.
In America we have a little problem with self and society. We imagine we can overcome the anxieties of society by posing romantic lonewolves. The angry young women on the radio these days are not the first pop stars to romanticize independence for audiences desperate for companionship.

Okay, you know what, I could even be persuaded to let this crap pass if in the same article, or the immediate next day, Brooks addressed the misogyny and degradation of women in rap, among other genres of music. Where's the outrage over the lyrics of those songs and the portrayal of men seeking to escape the women they married to young or just can't get rid of?

There isn't any. Instead we get the delusions of an old man that if these women would just get married, barefoot and pregnant, they'd be happy. Or at least they'd be too busy and post-partumly depressed to get on the radio and sing. And you know what, right now we have a living answer to that pathetic argument: Britney Spears.

You know what, Mr. Brooks, if you don't like the songs on the radio, go buy a cd player for your car instead whining about it in your column of how all these hot young women are being mean to men.

As a side note, I find it distasteful that he puts the Avril Lavigne song Girlfriend in the same class as Underwood's and Pink's, both of which do actually have feminist messages. Girlfriend was actually written by a man and gives the fantasy of the seductress women stealing a man away from a girlfriend (as explained on Pandagon).
jebbypal: (Default)
Death spurs Egypt's health ministry to ban female circumcision

Except, of course, for the fact that the health ministry can't make laws so the prohibition and promise of punishment is essentially meaningless unless Egypt's legislature passes a real law. Still...progress.
jebbypal: (Default)
Maternal Profiling not illegal in every state

Wow, that's a wakeup call to me. I'd thought that with affirmative action, this sort of thing was illegal everywhere.

Sorry, [ profile] sixersfan, but it's another reason to leave philly.

Of course, I won't be going to poland though


jebbypal: (Default)

August 2017

131415 16171819


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags